Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
