just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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