And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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