WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
