What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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