Having a random hookup so left but love u
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
