Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
ttyl tear gas
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize