Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
