My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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