So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
