I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
