It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
