I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
