Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
