He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
