thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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