Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize