but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
