Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
