If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
