Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
