My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oh god it's open bar.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
