his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
