I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
