Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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