The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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