He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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