Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
