I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
