He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
