Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
