I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
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We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize