Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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