this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He felt like a one man threesome
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
