apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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