I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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