ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
