did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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