I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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