To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
