Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Terrible idea I love it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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