I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
