Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...

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(816): View more from Missouri

I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..

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(702): View more from Nevada

I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex

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(818): View more from California

i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...

(805): View more from California

i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"

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(573): View more from Missouri

You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out

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(504): View more from Louisiana

And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.

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