So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
