I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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