so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
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Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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