But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
