Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
