We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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