My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
