we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
