You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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