I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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