So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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