Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
