Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
