So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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