peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
