couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
