DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
