I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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