do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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