he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize