So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
