The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When are your genitals available?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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