I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
